Thursday, May 19, 2011

A New Beginning

For the past 5 years, I have had the privilege of being a Librarian at the local middle school.  I have truly found what I was meant to do and was able to go back to school to get my Master's Degree so I could be a 'real' librarian.
Shhhhhh - I'm professional librarian people!
I love, love, love my job.  I get to work on computers, read, be around kids (and mess with them of course!).  I get to run analysis of my collection and develop the collection accordingly.  I get to trouble-shoot tech issues and a lot of equipment problems, research many different things for students, teachers and for the best equipment and books for the library. But really, the best part of my job is working with my students.  We have a lot of fun in the library...
"Take a picture with us Mrs. Toll!"
It's not just about checking out books and researching for class.  It's about an atmosphere where the kids can be who they want to be without judgment, if they want to read a book - that's great - but if they need to talk to me, that's ok too.
When I first started, I had no idea what I was doing.  The staff would tell me one thing and the principal would tell me another.  I didn't know if I was coming or going, but through the process of learning on the job and going to school, I found my niche.
For the last three years, because of budget concerns, I was told I could be fired at any time -which was not so great for morale.  But since I got back from maternity leave, I haven't cared if I was getting fired or not and I could be the librarian I always wanted to be!
Yes, we are dorks, but I wouldn't want it any other way!
The kids are so great here - they leave me notes all of the time...
Smiles
My 'kids' are amazing and I wouldn't have been able to handle the last three years if it wasn't for them.
My love notes :-)

They are the reason that I get up everyday and leave my children at the babysitter's (who is amazing by the way!).
Some from high school kids!

Posters!
They come bug me throughout the day.  I can never get anything done!  If you come in the library during the school day, I can almost guarantee that there will be at least one student just hanging out in here.  Most of the time sitting in the office with me chatting, crying, or telling me the drama that is going in in there lives.  I love it, and them so much :-)
Apparently I'm the bomb digity :-)
The reason for my new found ability to not care if I'm getting fired?  Because I turned my notice in when I returned from maternity leave.  That's right folks.  After 5 years in college earning my BA and another 3 years in graduate school earning my Master's and thousands of dollars in students loans, I am quitting to become a full-time homemaker!  I am so excited!!!!!
Matt's dream :-)
I can not wait to be a full-time wife and mother.  Ever since I was a little girl, all I really wanted was to be a farm wife and a stay-at-home Mommy and now it's coming true!!! I will get to fully concentrate on my family, which is the most important thing in the world.

Let's hope I look this great!!!
But, it should be pretty interesting. I have no idea what I am getting myself into, so stay tuned and hold on for the ride!!!
Sarah, the Kansas Farmer's Wife

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter Everyone!

Ok, so those of you who have read this already, please forgive me, the stupid computer deleted my original blog!! :-(
So, what I had posted earlier, is that on this blessed Easter Sunday, I was working very hard to be thankful for what I have.  I am a very blessed person, I have a wonderful family, great friends, I live in the United States, my children are healthy, happy and (mostly) well behaved.  But as we all know, we sometimes wish for more. 

My dream house out in the country

I really don't want much! :-)


See the island with the stools for my kids to eat breakfast and
do their homework?  And the beautiful view outside over the
kitchen sink!

In my Bible study group, we have been discussing our 'wants' versus what God's wishes are for us and how the don't always mesh.  Like how I really, really want to move into our 'Forever Home' out in the country so my children can always come HOME.  Not just the latest house that we live in.  I sometimes forget how amazing my life truly is when I see people all around me who have what I wish to have.  But I don't know what is really going on in their lives, if their children are ok, their marriages, themselves.  They could seem to have everything that I have always wanted materially, but are broke spiritually.  So, I am working very hard this Easter to recognize the beautiful life I lead and to thank God every day for the blessings he/she/it has given me.  
Like this.......


Or this.....


And finally, this.....


Dear Lord,
On this Easter Sunday, I wish to thank you so very much for the riches you have given me and to recognize that it is YOU that is in control, not me, and to be grateful for the wonderful life you have chosen for me.  
Love, Sarah

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I can explain!!

It has been such a long time since my last post, but honestly, I have been a bit busy with this;
Huck Stephen Toll

Huck was born January 4, 2011.  He was a difficult pregnancy - completely zapped me of any kind of energy!!  It was not a fun time, but I have my beautiful baby boy and couldn't be happier!

So his delivery was interesting.  I fully planned on having an epidural because, why suffer if I didn't have to?  I started having contractions around 1am, but I thought they were just the Braxton Hicks contractions.  They were a bit more uncomfortable so I started timing them and they were about every 5 to 10 minutes for an hour so the nurses at labor and delivery told me to come in to get checked out because I live so far away.  So my mother (aka God's Angel sent here to take care of me!) came over to stay with Ava so she wouldn't have to wake up, and Matt and I left for the hospital.  When we got there, the nurses checked me and I was 4 cent. so they admitted me.  We called Jerri and Kayt because they said the second baby comes quicker and both of them wanted to be at the delivery.  They then asked me if I wanted an epidural and I said 'Heck Yes!!!' The contractions were starting to become a little more uncomfortable, so they gave me a pain killer in my IV to tide me over until the doctor got there.  Well, that was fine at first, but then it really started to suck.  I felt like the drug had drugged me so much that I couldn't breath and at one point I almost passed out.  I got tunnel vision and couldn't hear anything, so the nurses put the bed down and turned me on my side and I started to get better.  
Then the anesthesiologist came to put the epidural in and that went well, but it never really took all of the pain away.  If I'm paying for it, I don't want to feel the pain!! Kayt and Jerri were there by now, and I was progressing although slowly and we were talking, watching TV and laughing.  Dr. Prendergast, my OB, wasn't on call that day, so I was kind of sad because I really didn't like the doctor that was going to end up delivering Huck.  At one point, I was getting really uncomfortable and the doctor was getting impatient so they started to have me push.  Nothing happened, apparently Huck had changed his mind and decided to go back up the birth canal, plus I was only 9cm.  
The anesthesiologist came back to dose me up again, because I was really uncomfortable.  I guess he didn't realize that I take pain medication like a 300 lb. man and not like a girl (yeah right, I'm not telling you how much I weighed!!).  Any-who, it was about noon and Matt and Kayt were getting hungry, I was feeling fine and wasn't going anywhere, because Huck and snuck back up the birth canal, so they went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.  About 5 minutes after they left, the epidural stopped working on my right side.  That hurt really bad.  The nurses turned me onto my right side so the drug would go over there.  The OB on call and the anesthesiologist were in a C-section surgery, so I just had to handle it.  Then the epidural completely stopped working.  Oh good God.  This was specifically what I had wanted to avoid.  I cannot even explain how badly that hurt.  I'm screaming, I'm crying, I'm yelling to get that damn doctor out of surgery for 5 minutes to fix my freaking epidural.  Matt and Kayt come back to a completely different situation.  I remember looking at the clock, it was about 12:30 and the nurses said that the doctors couldn't get out of surgery for about 45 minutes to an hour.  I was like 'Heck No.'  So they went to get permission to let me push because pushing helps alleviate the pain.  The doctor said sure because they figured I was at least 1 hour if not 2 hours until delivery. I remember thinking, "There is no way I am putting up with this pain for any longer, I HAVE GOT to get him out!" 
So the nurses came back and said, go ahead and push, it will help with the pain.  2 contractions later, Huck's head was starting to come out and they were yelling at me to stop they had to get a doctor. Kayt slapped on some gloves to catch Huck incase I couldn't stop pushing.  Apparently, Dr. Prendergast was assisting on the C-section, so he came in to deliver Huck.  I was so happy to see him, I almost cried.  He walked in the door at 12:46, Kayt helped him into his gown and at 12:47 Huck was born.  

It was pretty tough, but totally worth it!!

Everything is wonderful, except that bill from the hospital.  Can I refuse to pay the pain meds bill if it didn't work, like returning a stereo if it doesn't work?  Hmmmmmmmm

Oh well, now I have the best two kids and husband in the world and couldn't be happier!!